I suppose its about time I tackled this subject. This Social Kissing thingy is quite common here in Delft. The first time it happened to me? Well, it was a little weird. Downright ghastly actually. But it was totally my fault. Honest. Anyway, the procedure is pretty simple. You greet the girl, then lean forward and tilt your head to the right. In the meantime, the girl also does the same thing, but she tilts her head to the left. This direction of the tilting head is not really a hard and fast rule. But its got to be mutual. So if the girl tilts right you have to tilt left. Eventually, your heads should meet (unless one of you is doing it wrong) and at this time you land a kiss on her cheek while she lands one on yours. That's about it. Pretty simple, eh?
Nope. Not for me anyway.
I still remember the first time. The only time. I was in a crowded pub, with a bunch of friends. This Greek girl comes along and goes "Hiiiiii" with a customary big smile. (For Greeks, big smiles and "Hiiiiii's" are customary.) Then she leans forward. My super fast brain goes into smart mode. "Ah" I think, "She wants to tell me something. Obviously, she doesn't want to strain her vocal cords in this racket". She tilts her head and I tilt mine....... positioning my ear perfectly for her to speak her piece.
I tell you lads, I've never seen a smile drop so fast and a look of abject confusion come up in its place. But being Greek and being sweet she valiantly tries to land a peck on my cheek...and succeeds. My super fast brain finally gets it. I try to return the greeting, but by now its a clumsy and gawky movement. By the time the whole awkward scene is over she looks at me, the surprise in her eyes and face slowly giving way to enlightenment "Ahh..You don't kiiiisss." This said in a matter-of-fact voice.
That was one of them painful, squirming moments. Now, when girls see me, they stretch out their hand, keep maximal distance and then shake my hand. Thinly veiled sarcasm if you ask me. Well, at least they have a sense of humor.
Almost everyone here does the social kissing thingy. Can't think of anyone who doesn't. But not everyone gets it right. This gives me some evil satisfaction, knowing that I'm not the only socially inept chump in Delft. The best of the lot are the Greeks. They make sure its a warm and friendly gesture and there's got to be lip-to-cheek contact, otherwise it doesn't count. Chalk up another notch for the Greeks. The worst of the lot are the air kissers. Flamboyant, pretentious, (dare I say, Indian?) and what not. An air kiss is totally annoying to watch and those loud 'mwah's are an assault on the senses. But interestingly, I find out that air kisses are meant to be fake and are reserved for people who can't be tolerated. Does that explain the Indian connection? Hmm...let me mulch over that.
Nope. Not for me anyway.
I still remember the first time. The only time. I was in a crowded pub, with a bunch of friends. This Greek girl comes along and goes "Hiiiiii" with a customary big smile. (For Greeks, big smiles and "Hiiiiii's" are customary.) Then she leans forward. My super fast brain goes into smart mode. "Ah" I think, "She wants to tell me something. Obviously, she doesn't want to strain her vocal cords in this racket". She tilts her head and I tilt mine....... positioning my ear perfectly for her to speak her piece.
I tell you lads, I've never seen a smile drop so fast and a look of abject confusion come up in its place. But being Greek and being sweet she valiantly tries to land a peck on my cheek...and succeeds. My super fast brain finally gets it. I try to return the greeting, but by now its a clumsy and gawky movement. By the time the whole awkward scene is over she looks at me, the surprise in her eyes and face slowly giving way to enlightenment "Ahh..You don't kiiiisss." This said in a matter-of-fact voice.
That was one of them painful, squirming moments. Now, when girls see me, they stretch out their hand, keep maximal distance and then shake my hand. Thinly veiled sarcasm if you ask me. Well, at least they have a sense of humor.
Almost everyone here does the social kissing thingy. Can't think of anyone who doesn't. But not everyone gets it right. This gives me some evil satisfaction, knowing that I'm not the only socially inept chump in Delft. The best of the lot are the Greeks. They make sure its a warm and friendly gesture and there's got to be lip-to-cheek contact, otherwise it doesn't count. Chalk up another notch for the Greeks. The worst of the lot are the air kissers. Flamboyant, pretentious, (dare I say, Indian?) and what not. An air kiss is totally annoying to watch and those loud 'mwah's are an assault on the senses. But interestingly, I find out that air kisses are meant to be fake and are reserved for people who can't be tolerated. Does that explain the Indian connection? Hmm...let me mulch over that.
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